Syndrome
by Wax Angel Wings
Summary: Based on the movie The Poughkeepsie Tapes, this is a hardcore, unflinching story of the kidnapping, brainwashing, and recovery of Lisa Cuddy. Huddy through and through. Warning: SEVERE VIOLENCE AND SEX IN THIS STORY. Major angst. R&R!
1. Going Under

Syndrome

Rated: NC-17

Chapter I: Going Under

Author's Note: This story is by FAR not for everyone. It was inspired by the movie "The Poughkeepsie Tapes" and is going to be brutal and unforgiving. I'm sorry if it offends or sickens you but I am writing it so too bad. Anyway if you don't like it, let me know, just don't be nasty. Enjoy!

Cuddy had been missing for six months. House was losing his mind. Every day was spent on the phone with the cops, asking about new evidence and such even though they had given up on her as a missing person almost three months ago. He wanted to find her more than anything. A dead body would be better than nothing at all. In fact he expected the call that her body was found more than he expected them to find her alive. Not that he wanted her dead, but it was much more likely, and he wanted closure.

He had made friends with a cop at the station, her name was Lila Hendrix and she was the detective on the case since the beginning. They had been going out a few times a week for almost three months now. She was good for a cheap fuck but he really ached for Cuddy. The only reason he had gotten so close to Lila was because she held information. Things that she wasn't supposed to tell him but did because they were sleeping together.

That day he was in his office after giving orders to his ducklings when the phone rang. The ID said that it was Lila. He answered it, anticipating the worse. Lila almost never called him unless she had bad news. He always ended up calling her to set up a date or a quick lay. "Lila?" He said into the phone. He wanted to hear that Cuddy had been found, but he also didn't want to hear that she had been found. It was really a catch-22 at that point.

"I got my hands on some things I think you should see. I'm not supposed to take them out of the evidence locker but it's only fair. I'll meet you at your place tonight at 8:00." She said, whispering into the phone. House blinked a few times, what could she have? What was he not supposed to see? He swallowed hard. Did he really want to see this? The way she was talking it sounded bad and the last thing he wanted was to get bad news.

"What are they?"

"I gotta go. 8:00." She said and then hung up. He sighed loudly, wanting to call her back. He knew, though, it would do no good because the phone would either just ring off the hook or her partner would answer and divert him away from her. He guessed he could wait until 8:00 to see what this was all about, but his stomach was starting to knot. He popped two vicodin and downed a few gulps of water. Little did he know he was in for horror that he never thought possible.

When 8:00 rolled around he was sitting on his couch, smoking a cigarette. He had picked the habit back up quickly when Cuddy had gone missing. He knew it was bad, and gross, and addictive but at that point he really didn't care. He vowed to give it up if Cuddy ever came back but a big part of him believed that she never would. About five minutes past the hour, there was a knock on his door before it opened and Lila poked her head in. In her hands she held two black cases that looked like they held DVDs. He didn't know why she would have a bunch of DVDs but whatever it was, it seemed important.

"Hey." Lila said and then came over to him after shutting the door. She sat down on the couch and grabbed one of his cigarettes and lit it up. He looked at the two cases she had set down and then looked at her. Each one looked like it held over 100 DVDs.

"What's with the cases?"

"Well," Lila said slowly, "They are videos, of Lisa." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. House reeled from the shock of that news like it was a blow to the face. Cuddy was alive? How alive was she? Were these recent videos or were they of her death? There were obviously over 200 of them, and if they led up to her ultimate snuff he didn't think he wanted to watch them.

"What are on these videos?"

"The things he has done to her. We believe she is still alive, due to the time stamps on each one. They chronicle what he has done to her over the past six months. They date up to a few days ago with her still alive and well." Lila explained. House leaned forward and tapped some ashes into the ashtray on the coffee table in front of them.

"Done to her? Alive and well? Those two statements don't jive." House said. If they were tapes of what had been "done" to Cuddy then of course she wasn't "well". She may be alive, according to them but there was no way she was in her right mind. He was already picturing what was on it, torture, sex, mutilation...the list went on and on.

"I thought you might be interested. If you aren't then I can take them away." Lila said, "I wasn't supposed to show them to you in the first place and-"

"No, I want to see them." He said definitively. He would rather know than not know even as bad as he was anticipating they were going to be. Lila nodded and opened the top case, the first DVD was labeled 1 with a date corresponding to the day Cuddy had been taken. Lila slid it out of it's slot and walked over to his DVD player. She placed it in the tray and shut it, pressing play.

The scene opened and it was indeed time stamped. Everything was dark for the moment but there was audio and House could hear someone breathing and moving around on the screen. Then a very bright light came on and shone over a body, which he quickly recognized as Cuddy's. She was on a table on her stomach, her wrists were tied behind her back to her ankles and she had some sort of leather harness on her face. She was struggling as much as she could and crying.

Then a man came on the screen. He was dressed in all black and wore a mask that completely covered his face. Cuddy's eyes went wide as she saw him and he leaned in to talk to her. "What is your name?" He demanded and she winced, screaming out in fear. House had never, ever seen Cuddy that scared in his life. "YOUR NAME!"

"Lisa!" She cried struggling even more, "Lisa Cuddy!"

"WRONG!" The man yelled and then punched her in the side brutally. Cuddy screamed out in pain and started crying even harder as she tried to catch her breath. "Your name, is slave." Cuddy screamed and tried to wriggle away but there was no way she was going anywhere with the way she was tied. House could only imagine what was going through her head at that point.

"Please, please don't hurt me, I'll do anything you want, just let me go just let me-"

"What is your name?" The man repeated, grabbing a chunk of her hair and yanking her head back violently. It looked like he was trying to look into her eyes but she was avoiding his gaze like the plague.

"L-Lisa." She whimpered and he punched her again, right where he had hit her before. She screamed and then started to cough as she tried to catch her breath.

"YOUR NAME...IS SLAVE!" The man yelled. Cuddy started hyperventilating, it was clear that her mind was starting to crack. House didn't know how much of this he wanted to watch. He wanted to tell Lila to turn it off, yet he couldn't look away because it was like a train wreck. "What is your name?"

"S-slave." Cuddy whispered and the man reached out and started to stroke her hair gently, as if he was rewarding her. She continued to cry harder she obviously knew that she had been caught and there was not going to be an easy escape this time. Lila picked up the remote and paused the DVD. She turned to House who was just stunned into silence.

"It gets a lot worse." Lila said softly, "I don't know if you want to see-"

"I want to see all of it, Lila." House muttered and then snuffed out the end of his cigarette. It didn't occur to him that these tapes might be the last he ever saw of Cuddy. He hoped that wasn't true, but there was no way to know. Besides if they ever did find Cuddy he wanted to know what he was up against in way of mental and physical abuse.

"Well, I've seen it all once. I can leave these here with you for a few days but then I need to get them back." Lila said softly. House nodded and reached for another cigarette. He had a feeling that over the next few days he wasn't going to be getting any sleep.

After Lila had left, he turned the DVD back on. As she had said, she had seen all of it, but this seemed like something he had to do in privacy. The scenes were congruent but they skipped without warning. They weren't continual, and he was glad for that because he didn't think he wanted to see absolutely everything.

The next shot was Cuddy standing in the middle of some desolate basement. Her wrists were tied behind her back and chained up above her in what looked like a horribly uncomfortable position. It wasn't clear how long she had been standing like that but her legs looked ready to collapse at a moments notice. She was also blindfolded and her crying had ebbed somewhat but it hadn't stopped. That's when the man stepped into frame again, she obviously heard him coming and started crying harder, yet it was a weak cry and it sounded very pitiful.

"Please..." She begged, "Please I just want House." He was surprised to hear his name. He was the last person he thought she would ever want to see at that point. It made his heart ache even worse knowing that she was begging to see him.

"I killed him." The man said to her and she screamed. She, of course, had no way of knowing that he hadn't been killed. Logically, she would know that he wasn't dead, but she had clearly been tortured before this and was probably losing her grip on reality.

"NO! NO! HE'S NOT DEAD!"

"Yes he is. You're mine now." The man said taking a strand of her hair and wrapping it around his finger. He was still in his mask, and all House wanted to do was rip that mask off of him so he could be identified. This predator was clearly smart, cold, and calculating. If he had left these videos to be seen on purpose then there was no chance that any of the footage showed his face. "You're happy I killed him."

"NO!" Cuddy screamed, "NO! I want House, please I just want House!" The man punched her in the stomach hard. She let out a choked cry as the wind was knocked out of her. That's when, in the foreground, House noticed the sink filled with water. This was obviously about to be used for something.

"Say you're happy I killed him."

"NO!" Cuddy screamed and then tried to spit in the man's direction blindly. Roughly, he took her down from the chain and forced her over to the sink. She was struggling the whole time, but it was a weak struggle. House was guessing that she had been deprived of water and food for some time at this point.

The man bent Cuddy over the sink and pushed her head into the water, holding it under for a good ten seconds. Cuddy struggled fiercely at this and bubbles came to the surface as she struggled to get out of his grasp. After what had probably seemed like an eternity to her, he pulled her head back out. "Say you're happy."

"NO!" Cuddy coughed, expelling water from her lungs. Before she could get in another good breath, her head was back under water. The man held her in there for ten more seconds and then pulled her back out. She was coughing and screaming alternately, trying to get in some good air. "I'm...I'm..."

"What? WHAT?"

"I'm happy you killed him!" Cuddy cried and then burst into sobs. House couldn't believe what he was seeing. She was being brainwashed right before his eyes. Surely she didn't believe he was even dead, yet now she was admitting that she was happy for his death as fake and weak as it seemed.

"Good girl." The man said and then pulled her back over to the chain hanging from the lone pipe and chained her back up. Cuddy was forced to stand on her own two feet now, which was hard. If she just let herself go then chances were her arms would become dislocated and she would be in hideous pain. Her legs were trembling horribly and she was still crying. Now she was all wet, probably freezing, and convinced House was dead. How could watching this get any worse?


	2. Deeper

Syndrome

Chapter II: Deeper

Author's Note: Still with me? Probably not, LoL. If you are, this chapter is only going to get worse. Sever humiliation and some forced sex. You have been warned.

House decided not to take a break from watching the videos. If he did, he decided that he would stop all together and that's not what he wanted. He had seen a lot that he hadn't want to see and was now on the fourth DVD. Cuddy was really starting to break but there was still some sort of semblance of her personality. The next scene opened on Cuddy standing there with her arms chained above her head. She was in a tight white dress and the man was forcing her to drink water. House had no idea what this would accomplish, but every time she spilled even a drop she would get a shock with a cattle prod.

After he had force fed her two bottles of water, he patted her on the head and left without a word. Cuddy had a blank stare on her face for a very long time, she was staring directly into the camera with dead eyes. House was unaware if she could actually see the camera or not, but if she could she wasn't registering it. She wasn't trying to get a message across, she wasn't screaming for help, she was just sort of standing there like a zombie.

House wanted to do something, anything to help her. He didn't know what was going on in this scene, because the man was now missing, but he knew nothing good could go down within the next few moments. Out of nowhere, Cuddy started to whimper. She bent forward and crossed her legs tightly. "Sir?" She said in a very breathless and tired voice. She had taken to calling him "sir" now, because he had drilled into her brain that that was his name. There was no answer.

She clenched her legs tighter together and House realized that she had to pee. He had force fed her two bottles of water in order to get this exact end result. He wanted her to have an accident, for the humiliation it would cause her. In the background a figure stepped up, it was the man known to him only as "sir". He didn't say anything and it was clear that Cuddy had no idea he was behind her watching all of this, mostly because of the way she was chained there was no way she could turn around, and he was being awfully quiet.

House swallowed hard, he had seen her be tortured and brainwashed and beaten, but not humiliated to this extent yet. How would he be able to even face Cuddy once they found her if he continued watching this? Cuddy started to wiggle around even more, tapping her foot on the ground. "Sir please." She begged, twisting and turning every which way. House slowly reached for the remote, maybe he would skip this part, maybe he would somehow convince himself not to watch this.

Sir just stood there with his arms folded, not saying anything. He wasn't going to help her out this time, he was going to let nature take it's course. House couldn't tell if there was something specific he wanted Cuddy to say or do to help her out of her predicament, or even if there was something she could say or do. A moment later, she started to sob pitifully and in the dim lighting House could see a dark patch spreading across her dress.

"Damn it." House growled, clenching his fists. When she was done, Sir approached from behind and House honestly wanted to punch the TV or the table or the wall. Hell, he wanted to go to a bar and pick a fight with someone just so he could punch a warm body. This was not fair, he was sitting here watching Cuddy be broken apart by a monster, when he should be out doing something. What could he be doing, though? This man had eluded police for six months and left a bunch of videos to tease them. He was smart, he knew he couldn't be caught, this was all a bunch of bullshit.

"Did slave have an accident?" Sir said in a very condescending voice. Cuddy started crying harder and took a step back, trying to move away from him. Her face was bright red and she wouldn't even look in his general direction. "Do you understand now why you need Sir? He helps you so things like this don't happen."

"Y-yes sir. You're right, S-sir." Cuddy replied through her tears. House felt sick to his stomach. She agreed without a second thought, and she sounded genuine. Quickly, he grabbed the remote and turned off the DVD. He needed a break and he was going to take one. It was now four o'clock in the morning and he was about to get trashed on vicodin and tequila. After he woke up from blacking out (which he knew he would) he would continue watching the tapes. Until then, he had to do what Cuddy couldn't...escape.

House woke up on the floor next to the toilet, where he had let himself pass out after puking his guts out. He had finished a whole bottle of tequila and the vicodin on top of that didn't help. He slowly pushed himself up off the floor and flushed the toilet. The whole time he had been drinking he had been thinking about what Cuddy was going through, had been through. Drinking didn't make him feel any better but it did give him a chance to escape.

HIs head was pounding fiercely and so he took two aspirin and grabbed his cane. He hobbled weakly back to the couch in the living room and sat back down on it. After lighting up a cigarette he picked up the remote and pressed play on the DVD. The scene had closed out and moved onto another one. In this one, Cuddy was on her knees with her wrists chained above her head. According to the time stamp, it didn't appear that she had slept or eaten in some time, but there were blank periods where House didn't have any idea what was going on.

Clearly she had had some water because for one, he had seen it, and two she was not showing any outward signs of dehydration. This was also the first time House had seen her in a position other than standing on her own two feet. She wasn't crying, or moving, she just looked glad not to be standing any longer. Sir stepped into frame and House's heart started to pound. What more could he do to her that he hadn't already done?

Cuddy saw him and whimpered slightly. The lighting in the video was dim but it seemed like Cuddy could see something that anyone viewing the tape couldn't. "Slave wants to suck Sir's cock now."

"N-no." Cuddy whispered, shaking her head. Sir lashed out and literally punched her in the face. Cuddy screamed and would have fell completely back to the floor had she not been chained in the position that she was.

"What was that, Slave?"

"Please Sir, I don't want to." Cuddy moaned, but that obviously wasn't going to stop Sir from doing what he wanted with her. Sir lashed out again, this time kicking Cuddy in the stomach. Cuddy let out a grunt and immediately leaned over and threw up, managing to get most of it in her lap. If this bothered Sir, he wasn't saying anything about it.

"You love sucking Sir's cock. Say it."

"Please..."

"SAY IT!" Sir yelled at her. House winced, poor Cuddy, she had just thrown up, which couldn't have been a pleasant experience and now she was going to have to blow a guy that she didn't want to. House felt so sorry for her in that moment he thought his heart was literally going to shatter into a million pieces. Cuddy winced and tried to wiggle away but she couldn't.

"Slave...slave loves sucking Sir's cock." Cuddy finally said after another moment of looking like she was trying to crawl out of her own skin. Sir patted her on the head and then produced his cock, he started to rub it across Cuddy's lips roughly, trying to get her to open her mouth. Defeatedly, she opened up and let him thrust into her. She started to gag audibly as he really went to town fucking her face.

He was showing no mercy, it was like he was either trying to injure her or get her to throw up again. He held the back of her head in place as he rammed her mercilessly. Cuddy was crying and when she could get a breath she was trying to let it out as a scream. House sat there and all he could think was that he wanted her to bite him. If she bit him severely enough he would lose his damn dick and most likely bleed to death. However, he knew that Cuddy was too far gone at this point to even think of that. Had he done this on the first or second day, she probably would have been smart and retaliated, but this was at least the fifth day and her mind was gone.

Sir continued for what seemed like an eternity, to House and probably Cuddy too. Finally, he came with a grunt and pulled away from Cuddy. She coughed and gagged a few times before managing to swallow his cum. House wanted her to spit it out, show some defiance, but she didn't. "Say 'thank you' Slave."

"Thank you Sir." Cuddy said when she could catch her breath again. Sir patted her on the head again and then stepped out of the room. Cuddy was left there, covered in her own vomit, shaking and crying. If this was what the tapes showed, House knew that he was going to have to severely prepare to watch them. His phone started to ring and he knew it was probably one of the ducklings. He had just started a new case, but he could not care less about it at that point. He pressed the 'end' button on his cell and then turned it completely off before taking the landline off of the hook. He had to finish these tapes before he did anything else.

There were more brainwashing techniques implemented, more torture, more pain, and a lot more things House didn't want to watch. As he got into the second week of Cuddy's capture, a scene came up that was the worst so far. Cuddy was laying on a bed, completely naked. Her arms were chained above her head and her legs were chained spread eagle to the bottom corners of the bed. She just lay there completely defeated. This was the first time House had seen her naked in these tapes, and he knew nothing good could come of it.

Her body was covered in marks, bruises, cuts, and burns. She looked like she had been through absolute hell and she had. House had watched every second of her torture. She was stock still, not making a sound and then Sir stepped into frame. House swallowed hard and took a drag from his cigarette, he had basically been chain smoking since the start of the tapes. He just couldn't stop himself, he knew it was horrible and would eventually take a toll on him but there was nothing else he could do. If Cuddy was going to be destroyed, he was going to destroy himself.

"I'm going to rape you now." Sir said and a chill ran through House's body. He didn't say "fuck" and he didn't say "sex" he said "rape". That just made him sick to his stomach. Cuddy whimpered but she didn't say anything. The fight in her was gone, she was going to lay there and take it without even a struggle, not that she could struggle much in her current position.

Sir climbed on top of her, but luckily for House he stayed completely clothed. He didn't know if he wanted to see Sir's hairy ass fucking Cuddy. It was clear when he entered her, because she grunted softly. He started to ram into her, showing no mercy. Cuddy didn't make much noise if she was making any. House watched with a sort of sick fascination over all of this. He couldn't believe this was happening. He knew that when, not if, they caught this Sir guy he was going to personally carve off his genitals with a rusty knife.

"Scream for me bitch!" Sir demanded of her and on cue, Cuddy started screaming. She sounded like she was in pain, like this was the most horrible thing he had done to her. House couldn't measure in his head if this _was _the most horrible thing. After burning her and cutting her, and practically drowning her a few times, could this be the worst? It was a total violation, sure, but in the grand scheme of things it could have been a lot worse. Maybe if this was the first thing Sir had done to her, it would have been the worst, but they were beyond that by now.

Sir pulled back and slapped Cuddy across the face brutally and then reached up and pulled her hair. Cuddy screamed even louder and started to cry. When Sir was done, he pulled out of Cuddy and got up. "SHUT UP!" He ordered and instantly Cuddy went silent. He had her well trained. House didn't like this, he didn't like this at all. He didn't know why he continued to torture himself by watching all of this but he couldn't stop. His curiosity was getting the best of him and he just kept thinking...how could it get any worse?


	3. Punishment

Syndrome

Chapter III: Punishment

Author's Note: Are you really still reading this? If you are, thank you. I know I am going to get mega flames for this story but I am putting it up anyway.

WARNING: THERE IS A SCENE OF DEATH AND TORTURE IN THIS CHAPTER THAT IS RATHER SEVERE. CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK!

The next several hours of tape were like nothing he had seen before. He couldn't have guessed that it would have gotten this bad, he thought that the man was just a sexual sadist but now it was clear he was a serial killer. Cuddy was in these tapes, but she wasn't doing anything but whimpering and crying. She was tied to a wooden post in the middle of the room, but she was in the background.

He would leave her there for hours on end and she would just stand there like a zombie. The only time she showed any reaction was the first time. Sir brought a tall, blond woman down into what House was assuming was a basement. The blond woman was screaming and crying, and when she saw Cuddy she freaked out even more. Cuddy looked away from the woman and didn't say anything. If she knew what she was going to see then she wasn't showing any sign of it.

Sir went on to brutally beat the blond woman, repeatedly bashing her with his fists. Once she was subdued, bloody, and barely able to make a sound, he chained her hands above her head, near to the camera. House could see the look in the blond's eyes. She was scared, although severely dazed, and looked like Cuddy did when she first came to Sir's basement.

"Please, please don't do this...you can take all the money I have on me. I'll do anything you want, just don't hurt me any more!" The blond begged Sir, who just laughed. From behind him, he produced a large knife and held it in the blond's line of sight. House knew then that the blond was about to be no more.

"P-please Sir, d-don't." Cuddy breathed softly, looking away from the action in front of her.

"She was BAD Slave, a bad bad little girl." Sir tried to explain to Cuddy.

"No! I'm good! I'm very good! Please! I have a family, you can't do this! YOU CAN'T!" The blond screamed and tried to wriggle away from him though she was chained in place. Sir looked over at Cuddy.

"Watch this Slave, watch her punishment!" He demanded. Cuddy started to cry but without hesitation she turned her head to watch. House felt the bile rising in his throat, was he really going to sit here and watch this blond be disemboweled? Cuddy was whimpering slightly, but she wasn't saying anything.

Sir jammed the knife into the blond's stomach and Cuddy screamed. The other woman let out a grunt of pain as Sir drew the knife upwards towards her chest, opening a gaping wound in her torso. As the blond started to choke on her own blood, Sir reached into the wound and started to pull out organs. Showing them to the dying woman. Cuddy screamed continually, but she watched the whole thing like she had been told to do.

This was just the very first killing on the tape. There were several more with Cuddy just watching. After the first one, though, House ended up calmly walking into the bathroom and vomiting until nothing would come up. He didn't want to watch this, he didn't want to be a part of this, his soul was breaking in two. The killings became even more brutal after the first, if that was even possible, but every time House was more and more shocked at each death. It was the most horrible thing he had ever seen, until Sir decided to involve Cuddy.

He was about 5 months into the tapes when he first saw Cuddy involved with the killings. He didn't think anything could get worse but there she was. They were in the room, once again, that House was assuming was a basement still and Sir handed Cuddy the knife. The victim was barely alive at that point, beaten beyond recognition. With a stone cold, stoic face, Cuddy came up behind the girl and slit her throat without hesitation, deep enough to almost decapitate her.

The vomit rose so quickly in House's throat that he didn't even make it to the bathroom. Instead he ended up puking in the kitchen sink. He was shaken down to his core by what he had just seen, Cuddy had actually killed somebody in cold blood. Slowly, he backed away from the sink and actually sat down on the kitchen floor where he started to sob. If she was still alive, and he was almost hoping she wasn't, she was going to be one fucked up person.

After having a good cry he got up and turned off the DVD. He didn't need to see the rest, he didn't _want _to see the rest. It couldn't get any worse than that, and if it did, he didn't need to know. His first instinct was to take all the DVDs and smash them, or burn them, but he knew they were police evidence and couldn't be destroyed. Once he had them all back together, in order, he shakily picked up the phone and called Lila. She needed to come get the DVDs and she needed to get them now.

"House..." Lila said slowly, as she entered the apartment. It took her less than fifteen minutes to get there and for that he was glad. He didn't answer her but he did stumble over to the black cases and pick them up.

"Get these out of here." He said.

"I told you not to watch them, I knew this wasn't a good idea." Lila whispered as she took the DVDs away from him.

"I'm not mad, well not at you." House said with a shaky sigh. He was indeed very angry, but only at the man called 'Sir'. Also there was frustration rising in him, and he didn't know how to let it out this time, there was so much of it. "I saw what I needed to see and now I'm done."

"Alright, I'll get these back to the station." She replied in a soft voice. He didn't stop her when she left, he didn't even try. At that point he just wanted to be alone and self medicate until he was in some sort of coma that would keep him out for a few days. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and lit one up quickly.

Next was his bottle of vicodin and the only liquor he had in the house, a bottle of scotch. It was good scotch, at least fifty years old, but he had a reason to drink it. It would knock him the hell out and hopefully he wouldn't dream. After taking three pills and downing them with as much scotch as he could get down his throat in one breath, he stumbled into the bedroom and collapsed face first on the bed. That was the last thing he remembered until the phone rang.

In order to call Lila, had turned the phone back on and forgot to turn it off again. It was still in his pocket when it started to ring loudly and vibrate at the same time, waking him with one hell of a jolt. Two days had passed, 48 hours, and he supposed that had to do with the combination of narcotics, booze, and the fact that he had been up for days straight watching Cuddy go through hell.

"House." He said in a weak voice, answering the phone. He knew the headache he had would make him throw up in a moment, so he started to hobble towards the bathroom.

"This is detective Hendrix. We've had a break in the case." She said, sounding business like. House's eyes went wide and he decided he could fight the nausea for a few moments while he found out what the break in the case was. Lila only talked to him like that when it was official police business, and he could feel his stomach flutter in excitement.

"Well tell me what the fucking break is, Lila." House ordered as he ran some water from the bathroom sink and filled a cup.

"We know who Sir is." Lila said softly. House dropped the cup he was holding only to have it fall and shatter on the tile floor of the bathroom. How they knew who Sir was, was a complete mystery to him, but if they knew then they should be out doing something about it!

"Then go get him you idiot!" House yelled into the phone after the shock had subsided, "I'll meet you at the hospital."

"House, she-"

"Is still alive. I can feel it." He said definitively. Lila sighed and hung up the phone. Forgetting about everything, the shattered glass, the headache, the nausea, House went about getting ready to leave. He wanted to be the first familiar face that Cuddy saw when she got there.


	4. Found

Syndrome

Chapter IV: Found

Author's Note: This chapter is very tame compared to how I started out but I can tell you that this story is going to go up and down in how tame it is. Right now it's okay but it will get worse. Anyway I hope you are still reading.

House paced the ER listing over the radio for chatter about a woman who could be described as Cuddy. It took about an hour but finally they came rushing through the door with her on a stretcher looking pale and malnourished. She was skinnier than he had ever seen her and she was dressed in some outfit that you'd expect to see a China doll wearing. She was completely knocked out, but House could see all the scars, cuts, and bruises on her. One of her hands was wrapped up tightly with a bandage.

He was on her in an instant, ushering the paramedics to the private room he demanded set up for her earlier. They transfered her feather light body into the bed and continued running fluids into her system. House grabbed one of the paramedics, they weren't talking to him, or even to each other, but it didn't appear Cuddy was in any mortal danger that they could fix at that point.

"Why is she out?" He demanded.

"We had to sedate her, she didn't want to come with us." The guy said, his name tag to House that his name was Earl. House sighed gently, this was going to be a very long and hard recovery for Cuddy.

"What's with her hand?" House asked.

"It's been badly mutilated, she'll be lucky if they don't amputate some of her fingers." Earl replied, "I assume you're the doctor taking care of her now?"

"Yeah, she's mine." House whispered. He didn't even consider that he was too close to this case to do any good but he wasn't about to let anyone else touch her after what she had been through.

"Good, sign here." Earl said and held up a clipboard. House signed his name absentmindedly and then went over to Cuddy's bed and sat down next to it. He took her good hand in his and squeezed it gently. The paramedics left and the two of them were now alone with each other.

When Cuddy started to stir, House looked up. Her eyes fluttered open and she started screaming at the top of her lungs. House immediately got up and pulled her into a hug, trying to get her to quiet down. "Cuddy! CUDDY!" He cried, but she was thrashing around and trying to claw at him to get him to let her go. In the end she was too weak to do much of anything so eventually she gave up and laid back down. She started crying softly and then her eyes met his.

"Where's Sir?" She asked and then wiped her eyes with her uninjured hand.

"He went away." House said not wanting to launch into a tirade. Cuddy had been brainwashed and he wasn't going to start yelling at her, she needed to be approached gently. It didn't appear that Cuddy even knew who he was, she didn't really acknowledge him other than to wonder where her sadistic master was.

"But he said he'd come back." She whined.

"I know he did, but he's not coming back Cuddy." House said softly and reached out to caress her cheek. She shied away from him which only served to break his heart even more than it was.

"I want Sir. He has to come back, who will take care of me?" She asked, sounding scared. House didn't know what to say or do at that point. She needed to believe that she was going to be taken care of, but psychologically he knew it would be wrong to take that role. Then again, if she was going to get better she would need to believe that he was her care taker, only because he was not going to let them lock her up in an asylum until she was deemed fit for public release.

"I'll take care of you." He said after a moment, very softly. She looked at him and started to cry but she nodded reluctantly. It was clear she didn't want to give up her beloved Sir but she couldn't take care of herself for the time being and he would step in.

"I'm tired." She whispered, "Can I go to sleep?"

"Yeah get some rest. I'll be here when you wake up." He assured her and moved back to the chair he was sitting in before. They had a long road of recovery ahead.

House was surprised when a few hours later Cuddy's mother came in the door. House immediately got angry, this was the woman who had thrown a memorial ceremony for Cuddy one month after she had gone missing. Arlene had given up hope faster than anyone who had known Cuddy and the woman was her own daughter.

"What the hell are you doing here?" House demanded softly, not wanting to wake Cuddy.

"She's my daughter, House." Arlene shot back at him.

"Could have fooled me." He replied. She turned and glared at him and then went to waking Cuddy. Arlene was in for a big surprise once Cuddy was awake, because the poor woman didn't seem to remember who anyone was or why she was in a hospital in the first place.

"Lisa?" Arlene said softly once she saw that Cuddy's eyes were open. All Cuddy did was squirm away from her and start freaking out. Wildly she reached for House.

"Who is she? Get her away!" Cuddy demanded. House didn't know it at the time, but Cuddy related the name 'Lisa' to pain and she thought that's what the woman was there for.

"Lisa, I'm your mother. What's wrong honey?" Arlene said, repeating the offensive name. Cuddy screamed and pulled herself into a ball trying to cover her ears as best she could to shield herself from the offending woman.

"SIR! SIR!" Cuddy cried, and it took House a moment to realize that she was calling for him. He'd have to work on that in due time but for now at least she was acknowledging him. He came over to her and she clung to him like he might vanish if she let go.

"Sir? Why is she calling you sir?"

"I think you need to leave." House said seriously. "In fact I don't want anyone but doctors seeing her."

"Who are you to-"

"SECURITY!" House shouted, causing Cuddy to wince. Arlene growled something under her breath that House didn't catch and stormed out of the room. He could feel Cuddy relax once she was gone. She looked up at him with tear stained eyes and sniffled loudly.

"Is she gonna come back?"

"Not for a long time." House tried to assure Cuddy. He was beginning to realize that Cuddy didn't like being called by her first name. She wasn't exactly responding when he called her Cuddy but she wasn't reacting to it in any way either. He was going to keep calling her Cuddy until she got used to it and then slowly reintroduce the name Lisa. He sighed softly and Cuddy laid back down in the bed. "You can call me House you know."

"Yes House." She said softly like she was replacing the word 'Sir' with his name. It was a step forward, but he didn't expect all too much in the first few hours of her coming back.

A moment later Cameron stopped by holding a vase of flowers. "Hi." She said nervously, barely poking her head in the door. House turned to look at her. It was actually good that she was there because he had to do an exam on Cuddy and he was sure that she would only allow him to touch her at that point.

"Who are you?" Cuddy asked softly. Cameron looked at House for an explanation.

"She's been through a lot," House said, not wanting to share everything he knew about what had happened, "But I need you here to do an exam on her, and don't use her first name." Cameron nodded and closed the door to the room before pulling the curtain shut. Cuddy looked nervous but he couldn't tell if it was because Cameron was there or if it was because he was starting to put on gloves.

"It's okay, Dr. Cuddy. We just want to make sure you are okay." Cameron said to her slowly. Cuddy looked to House to make sure everything was on the up and up but he was sure that if he ordered her to do this then she would comply no matter how scared she was.

"House?" Cuddy asked, confused.

"She's right, this will be very easy, just relax." House assured her and then motioned for Cameron to get him a gown. It was time Cuddy got out of that doll outfit anyway. "I need you to get undressed." Cuddy's lower lip trembled slightly but she didn't start crying and she did get undressed for him. The process was slow because of her hand, but she did it.

Her body was absolutely covered in marks. Burns, cuts, scars, bruises, everything. House almost felt sick while he looked at her. He helped her get the gown onto her very skinny frame and then laid her back on the bed and went to her exam.

Other than some horrible genital mutilation and some piercings, there really wasn't as much damage as he thought. He wanted to see if she could still feel pleasure down there, but he certainly couldn't do that with Cameron there it would be awkward and very unprofessional. She did seem to react when he touched her vaginal area, and she gasped when he slipped a finger in to check her, but other than that he had no idea if she was feeling pleasure or pain. When he was done, he pulled away and took off his gloves, looking at Cameron.

"She'll be okay." House said, not realizing that his voice was going to be as shaky as it came out. Cameron, who was supervising had seen everything, the mutilation and the torture, and it was clear that she was trying her best not to cry over it. Cuddy was shaking gently and clutching at the sheets under her. House grabbed the dress she had been in and thrust it in Cameron's direction. "Get rid of this. I you can leave, and I don't think I need to tell you that everything you saw stays between us, right?"

"Of course." Cameron said softly, taking the dress. She was as white as a ghost at that point. After she hurried out of the room, House turned to the woman he still secretly loved with all of his heart.

"You did a good job. Can I get you anything?" He asked her, not knowing where he got the energy to muster up a smile. Cuddy obviously wasn't used to seeing positive emotions so she just stared at him like he had lost his mind.

"What do you want to get me?" She asked softly.

"Anything you want." House said, taking her good hand in his, although he had a feeling she was going to talk him in circles at that point.

"What do I want?" She asked, and it was directed at him, not a spoken internal monologue. This made House feel sick to his stomach, she wanted him to tell her what she wanted. She wanted to be directed to the right answer and he did not want to do that, he did not want to control her like she had been controlled before.

"When you figure it out you can tell me." He said after another moment. After that they both fell silent. He didn't know if he'd be able to handle this after all.


	5. Homecoming

Syndrome

Chapter V: Homecoming

Author's Note: This chapter is rather tame too, sorry if this is slow coming up because I am sick, on top of that I am on my period. TMI, sorry. Anyway, enjoy!

After two days had passed, Cuddy was released into House's custody. She would need a few surgeries on her hand but she was no where near healthy enough to go through surgery. They wanted her to gain at least thirty pounds before they attempted anything. In the end House took her back to his place thinking she would be safest there. He didn't want to bombard her with memories of her place just yet even though he had taken over paying bills and taking in her mail and everything.

He walked into his place and set his keys down and headed for the kitchen. It was time to get her real food and by real food he thought it was a good thing to order out. He wasn't much of a cook and her mashed potato brains might not be able to hammer out a recipe, not that he wanted her cooking. When he came back out he saw that she was still standing in the doorway in the clothes he had picked up from her house when he knew she was going to be discharged.

"Cuddy, this is your home now. You can do anything you want." He said with a smile and then presented her with a bunch of take out menus. She looked at them as if they were all written in chinese and handed them back to him.

"What do I want to do?" She asked him. She still hadn't gotten past the point of wanting him to direct her to the right answer.

"Anything, how about TV?" He asked, motioning to the TV. She tilted her head like a confused animal, almost as if she didn't remember what a TV was even though there was one in her hospital room. "Come on, sit down." He said and took her arm, leading her over to the couch. Like a zombie, she sat down and stared at the blank TV screen. She didn't talk much, if at all, only when he asked her a question or she was scared. He turned the TV on and put on cartoons, thinking that would be the best thing to sooth her.

"Why don't you tell me what to do?" She asked him suddenly.

"Because, you are your own person and you can do whatever you want." House said, sitting next to her, looking through the menus. He wanted to choose something that he knew she liked, even if he wasn't a fan of it. He needed her to eat because she needed the surgery before her fingers got to bad that they absolutely needed to be amputated.

"But I'm a slave."

"No, you're not." House said trying not to get mad, "You are Cuddy, a doctor, a woman, you are anything but a slave." It was hard for him not to get frustrated but he knew that he couldn't because none of this was her fault.

"I am Cuddy?" She whispered.

"Yes, your name is Cuddy, not Slave." He said to her and reached out to brush some hair behind her ear. She whimpered and shied away from him like he was going to hurt her. He sighed gently and lowered his hand slowly. "I am never going to hurt you like Sir did."

"But...how will I know if I'm good?" She asked. House had to blink at that. She associated pain with being good? There were a lot of things that weren't on the tapes, so he didn't know everything she had been through. It was possible that she associated pleasure with pain and pain with being good. He was either going to have to fix this or work with it.

"You are good, you will always be good. You never do anything bad, Cuddy." He said, and to his knowledge she never had done anything overly bad. Sure she had made him angry in the past but she had never been BAD.

"But how will I know?" She demanded.

"I'll tell you that you are good." He said with a smile, "I'll tell you all of the time." She looked over at him and for the first time since he had her back she actually smiled. Luckily there were no facial scars, not that he would find her any less attractive with a scar or two on her face, but when she did recover he didn't want the constant reminder of what had happened to her written all over her face every time she looked in the mirror.

"Am I good now?" She asked.

"Very good." He said, "You are being the best Cuddy there ever was." He said and this time was able to successfully stroke her hair. She actually leaned into his touch after a moment. He smiled at her brightly. Maybe he was making progress with her.

Later that night after he had convinced her to eat as much as she possibly could without getting sick, he decided that a movie would be a nice break from everything. He was careful not to choose anything with violence or blood or sex. In the end he settled on a Disney movie. Why he had it he didn't know, he was thinking that it probably came with his Playstation 3 when he bought it. She stayed on the other end of the couch for most of the movie, not laughing or reacting in any way.

He was watching her more than he was watching the movie. He couldn't tell if she was interested or being entertained in any way at that point. If she was bored she wasn't going to tell him because it was now in her nature to just do what he wanted to do. When half of the movie was over he sat up more and moved over to her.

"Do you like the movie?" He asked her.

"I don't know. Do I?" She asked him. He was quickly getting fed up with her constant need for direction but he couldn't lose it, not yet.

"Well, are you bored?" He asked her.

"No." She whispered.

"Then you like it." He said, gently putting his hand on her leg just above her knee. She turned to look at him after glancing down at his hand and then smiled again. "You won't be bad if you tell me you don't like this. You can tell me anything you want and I won't get mad at you." He said honestly.

"But I like what you tell me to like." She said like it was perfectly normal for her to be such a sheep.

"No, you don't." He said, his voice getting a little more stern than he meant for it to be, "You like what you like. You don't have to like what I like. For instance, do you like naked women?" She made a face immediately like she wanted to say no, and then winced as if she was going to get hit. He didn't say anything, he wasn't going to direct her to any answer, he was just going to let her tell him what she thought.

"N-no?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She then really shied away from him and curled up into a ball like he was going to hit her. He just smiled, he didn't try to touch her, not wanting any movement to scare her. He sat as still as possible.

"Good girl, Cuddy. Very good girl." He reassured her, he was guessing that was the first time she had said "no" to anything since she had been taken. Slowly she uncurled and looked at him. She started to cry, putting her head in her hands and really sobbing. "Hey, it's okay." He tried to comfort her and put his arm around her pulling her in close.

"I don't like this movie, it's stupid." She whispered as she sobbed.

"Yes, good, it is really stupid." House agreed, and he wasn't bluffing, Toy Story had to be the last movie he ever wanted to watch.

"And-And...I don't like the...the pizza you got." She said, her voice gaining more confidence. He laughed and held her trembling body. He had tried to get her something she wanted, but he was glad she said she didn't like it. He could have made dinner and would have been happy if she said she hated it.

"Okay, you don't ever have to eat any more of it." He said, "Next time we'll get whatever you want."

"I want chocolate." She said softly, like a child.

"I think I have some, do you want me to go get it?" He asked her pulling back to look at her. She still wouldn't make eye contact, she just sort of looked away from him, her eyes still a little glossy. She nodded and sniffled, wiping her eyes. It was clear she still didn't remember who he was, but she was making a lot of progress. He grabbed his cane and walked into the kitchen.

His heart was pounding hard, there were tears of joy stinging his eyes. He didn't know how she would be with other people, but she was coming around with him and that was all he really cared about. He grabbed a bag of Hershey's kisses and came back to her. "How many do you want?"

"How many can I have?" She asked. He looked at her and didn't say anything, he wanted her to decide how many she wanted. "Can I have six?"

"Six it is." He said and pulled out six of the kisses and placed them in her hand. Like a squirrel she unwrapped them and started to eat. She was curled up, nibbling on them like they were going to be taken away from her at any second. When she was done she leapt into his arms and hugged him tightly. "I'm sleepy. Can I go to sleep now?"

"Yes, do you want your own bed? I have a guest room." He said.

"You don't want to sleep with me?" She asked sounding shocked and very sad.

"I do, I really do, but if you don't want me to then I won't." He replied. She hugged him even tighter, like he was going to go away. She was sort of hurting his leg with the way she was laying on her but he wasn't going to adjust her position. He could deal with the pain for a moment.

"I want you to." She whispered.

"Alright. Lets get you to bed." He said, "How about a bath first?" She looked at him and nodded. "Okay just doing get this bandage wet." He said touching her bandaged hand.

"You aren't going to help?"

"I don't need to. You're a big girl." He said. He grabbed his cane and stood up, "Do you know where the bathroom is?"

"No, can you show me?" She asked sheepishly. He nodded and led her to the bathroom. He started the water for her and checked to make sure it wasn't too hot before turning to look at her. She had stripped out of her clothes already and was completely naked. Once again he could see all the scars, burns, and cuts and it made him shudder. She was still absolutely beautiful, the woman of his dreams, but she was so damaged now it was sad.

"Alright, get in." He said without missing a beat. She nodded and slowly slipped into the bath, being careful not to get her bandage wet. He supposed since he was already there, he could help her bathe, he thought she would have waited until he had left to get undressed but if she thought he owned her then she wouldn't be too modest about her body.

"You can stay if you want." She said with a smile.

"Okay." He said slowly and then sat down next to the tub so he was actually comfortable. She started to slowly wash herself after a moment, when she realized that he wasn't going to do it.

"Why haven't you had sex with me yet?" She asked out of the blue. "Don't I please you?"

"Yes, Cuddy, you do but you aren't just a sex toy. I can't have sex with you if you don't want it, okay?" He tried to explain. The worst part was when she asked that he started to get aroused. God he wanted to have sex with her but that would just screw her up more. He wasn't going to get her in the mindset that he owned her, that would be very wrong of him.

"Oh." She said a little sadly, "How do I know when I want it?"

"You'll know. Just trust your instincts." He said. He grabbed a wash cloth and started to soap it up. He started to wash her back gently. He was trying to avoid the recent cuts and burns, but if she was in pain from them he didn't know and he was sure that she wouldn't tell him.

"That feels good." She said after a moment.

"Good." He replied, almost breathlessly. He was glad she was letting him touch her. He started to massage her shoulders gently, she was so tense and he wanted to get her to relax. She groaned softly and rolled her head forward. "You like that?"

"Yes." She whispered. He continued to massage her, the whole time his cock was getting harder and harder. She wanted sex, she had asked about it, but he was not going to do that to her, he absolutely was not. There was nothing she could say or do to make him. At least that's what he was telling himself.

After about fifteen minutes of rubbing her shoulders and back, he stopped and got to his feet. His bad leg was cramping badly, but once again he ignored it. She had to be in a lot more pain than him and she hadn't complained once. She had a script for percocet that he had filled at the hospital pharmacy but she hadn't even asked for one. He grabbed a towel and held it up for her as she climbed out of the tub. He wrapped it around her small frame and walked her over to the sink where he had a toothbrush set out for her.

"Alright, brush your teeth and then come into the bedroom. I'll give you something to wear." He said. She nodded at him and picked up the toothbrush. He hurried out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. He heard the water running in there and quickly took out his cock. He grabbed a few tissues and started to stroke himself quickly. He didn't have the luxury of taking a long time, or even fantasizing too much, but he had to get rid of the hard on before she realized he had one.

With a grunt he came into the tissues and after recovering from the mediocre orgasm he tossed them into the trash, made himself decent and laid back on the bed. He grabbed the bottle of vicodin he kept near by and took out one. He popped it into his mouth and swallowed it dry before getting up again and heading into the bathroom with a clean T-shirt he had grabbed for Cuddy.

"Here you go." He said, holding it out to her. She rinsed out her mouth and then took the shirt and put it on, dropping the towel to the floor.

"Thank you." She whispered and then yawned.

"Go lay down, I'll be in after I brush my teeth." He said to her. She nodded and walked out of the bathroom. He grabbed his toothbrush and did his regular routine before bed. When he was done he came back into the bedroom and stripped down to just his boxers.

When he laid down, she seemed to notice his scar for the first time. Gently she traced her fingers over it. "Does it hurt?" She asked him. He took in a gasp of air, not because it hurt then but because of the way she was touching him. It was almost as if she was back to herself. She was being so gentle and caring, he wanted her back more than anything.

"Yeah, sometimes, but I take pills for it." He said and then held up his vicodin bottle and shook it.

"Oh, okay." She said and then rolled over, pulling the blankets up over her body. He laid down completely and rolled over the opposite direction trying to stay away from her without looking like he was trying to stay away from her. "Goodnight House." She said softly.

"Goodnight Cuddy." He closed his eyes and in a few minutes he was asleep. He would only be woken hours later to desperately terrified screams.


	6. Treatment

Syndrome

Chapter VI: Treatment

Author's Note: The real reason why I haven't been updating as much as I can is because I've been roleplaying so incredibly much it's stupid. I won't tell you who I role-play with because she doesn't need to get blasted but she's great at it and I totally need to thank her. She's probably reading this. Anyway here comes the next chapter.

In the middle of the night Cuddy was squirming and whimpering in her sleep. He was woken up when she jerked into him but didn't wake up herself. House sighed gently and for a brief second actually thought about ignoring her but couldn't bring himself to do that. He forced himself to be more awake before shaking her gently. "Cuddy?" He asked slowly and softly. If she didn't wake up right away different measures needed to be taken but he didn't want to scare her.  
>"Stop it!" She yelled but didn't wake up. House knew that she wasn't talking to him but to the unknown assailant that must haunt her every waking hour and nightmare. He started to shake her harder and yell her name even louder. She twisted away from him and her hand came up in a vicious slap across his face. That woke her up instantly. "Oh, oh God I hit you." She whimpered.<br>"It's okay, it's okay Cuddy I'm not mad." House said gently and pulled her into a hug. She started to whimper before it turned into full blown crying. He did the only thing he knew to do and that was hold her close to him and let her cry her heart out. She still hadn't recognized him and he was getting frustrated but she didn't seem as frightened of him any longer, so that was definitely a plus. Slowly she started to calm down and he was happy for that, when her crying turned into just little sniffles she looked up at him.  
>"No punishment?" She asked, sounding really sheepish and scared.<br>"Nope, it was an accident." He assured her, hell even if she did it on purpose now he wouldn't punish her. Sure he would talk to her about it and ask her why she felt she needed to slap him but in the end he would not hurt her back, there was no need for that.  
>"My...he made me have accidents." Cuddy said, not wanting to say Master or Sir apparently. House nodded, he knew all too well the kind of accidents that Sir had made her have. He didn't know if he should tell her yet that he had seen everything Sir had done, or even if he knew. He didn't know if it was better to be sympathetic to her plight or if the mere knowledge that he had watched the tapes with a perverted interest would fuck her up.<br>"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked her figuring maybe now was not the best time to tell her about the tapes. She shook her head, and he knew she wasn't back to being Cuddy yet. If she was Cuddy she would want to talk, hell he probably wouldn't be able to shut her up. After that she just snuggled into him and closed her eyes. He knew she wasn't able to get much sleep when she was with Sir so he was going to let her rest as much as she wanted. He held her close and watched her for a long while before drifting off to sleep himself. He was worried enough to have some horrible dreams.

When he woke up in the morning she was asleep snuggled up to him tightly. He smiled gently and tried to pull away from her but she wouldn't let go of him. If things were different, if she wasn't so damn brainwashed then this moment might have been very sweet. As it was, he was just scared for her, very scared for her. Normal Cuddy wouldn't be acting this way at all, probably not even if she was in love with him like he hoped. He didn't want her to develop the wrong attachment to him either. What if she bonded with him in the wrong way and never returned to her normal state? He decided then that he would bombard her with things from the past, memories and photos until she was sure she knew who she was and he was too. He shook her awake gently and when she looked up at him and opened her eyes he smiled at her.  
>"Hey there Cuddy." He said softly, "How are you this morning?"<br>"Why do you call me that?" She asked, obviously referring to the name "Cuddy".  
>"That's your name, Lisa Cuddy." He said, "More people call you Lisa but I like to call you Cuddy. Just like you always call me House even though my first name is Greg." He explained to her slowly. Last night he had gone over this with her but he wasn't surprised that she had forgot. There was no telling what kind of memory problems she had or would have. Part of him wanted to just shake her and yell at her to snap out of it, but she had been through hell and back and his jackass way of handling things just wasn't going to work this time.<br>"But...He said my name was Slave." She said, still not calling him Sir. Maybe it was a respect thing, or maybe she somehow thought if she addressed him or said his name out loud, then he would come back and get her and that was probably the last thing that she wanted.  
>"Well, HE isn't here anymore, right? You are a strong independent woman and not a slave." House assured her, nodding his head so maybe he would subconsciously influence her that the answer was correct.<br>"Oh, okay." She said, not looking at him any more. Even though she looked in the general direction of his face she still had yet to make eye contact with him and it bothered him to no end. Real Cuddy wouldn't be afraid to look him or anyone else in the eye. It saddened him to think that she might never be REAL Cuddy again.  
>"Are you hungry?" He asked her. He still didn't have much in the way of food but he did have cereal as it was one of his favorite things to eat in the morning. It was quick and easy, besides he usually stole a doughnut from Wilson at the office so it didn't matter how much he ate at home. She looked at him like he had just spoke Japanese and it occurred to him that Sir just fed her, he never asked her if she was hungry he just gave her food. "Lets get some food." He got out of bed and reached for her hand so he could take her into the kitchen. She was obviously afraid to go anywhere in the apartment without him. He wondered if moving her to more familiar surroundings such as her house would make a difference.<br>"Okay." She said and took his hand. If he only knew what was going on in her mind, if only he could read her thoughts, this might go much easier than how it was. He had never found himself wishing for telepathy so hard in his life. After leading her into the kitchen he looked at the boxes of cereal that he had. Normal Cuddy would have balked at the choices, but this Cuddy just sort of stood there and stared in awe at the fact that he was about to get her some food to eat.  
>"All I seem to have is Froot Loops and Lucky Charms." He said sheepishly. "Which one do you want?" He held out the boxes in her direction so she could choose but she just looked at them stupidly. She hadn't made a choice in a very long time, at least not regarding food but he wanted her to choose, he was not going to choose for her this time.<br>"Um...that one has a bird." She said pointing at the Froot Loops box with a giggle. He smiled at her and grabbed a bowl, a spoon, and some milk. He was taking some time off of actually going to work, but he would be taking calls and things like that so he could help the ducklings. When he was done pouring out two bowls of cereal he set them on the table and sat down to eat. Cuddy looked at him weird for a moment but then decided to join him without prompting. "Are you going to have sex with me today?" She asked out of the blue. House almost choked on his cereal. She needed to stop asking him that, it was just turning him on and that wasn't helping the situation at all.  
>"Cuddy I-"<br>"Did I make you mad? Do you not like me?" She asked as she continued to eat. If she genuinely thought that he didn't like her if he didn't fuck her then would it be so wrong to do it? He was very conflicted at that point and didn't know what to say or do.  
>"Do you want to have sex with me?" He asked her. She looked thrown by this question and tilted her head like she didn't understand. He was sure that she had forgotten what her wants were and had moved into the need category. The way Sir showed her that she was good was by fucking the shit out of her, she didn't know that she was good.<br>"I don't know, do I?"  
>"Cuddy you know if you want to have sex with me. Think really hard." House said as calmly and nicely as he could. He loved her very much and he wanted her very badly but he was not going to fuck her just because some monster made her think that she needed to be fucked to be validated. She looked at him like she was thinking really hard and took in another spoonful of cereal. As she chewed she looked deep in thought.<br>"I guess not?" She asked, as if she was trying to fish for the right answer.  
>"That's not correct, Cuddy. Think with your heart. Do you want to have sex with me?" He repeated trying so hard not to lose his temper with her. If he got mad she would get scared and there was no telling what would happen if he scared her bad enough.<br>"No." She said and then winced again like he was going to hit her. He offered her a gentle smile.  
>"Good. Now, when you WANT to have sex with me then we will but not before." He said to her. She nodded and started to eat again. He picked up his spoon and also started to eat. They stayed silent until Cuddy was finished. She pouted for a moment and without asking she reached for the box of cereal and poured herself another bowl. This made House smile like he couldn't believe. "Good girl, you are being a very good girl." He said and she started to smile, he knew she liked validation and he was going to give it to her as much as humanly possible.<p>

He decided shortly after breakfast that he was going to take her to her house so that she could maybe remember things that she was repressing. It could totally backfire and traumatize her or it could give her an incredible breakthrough. He told her to get dressed and once she was, he got her into his car and they were off towards her house. Since she had vanished he had taken care of everything possible vis a vie her house. He made sure the gardens were kept, the grass was cut and all the bills were paid. It was hard not to go into the house and look around, find a diary, or anything like that but he kept it just the way she left it and did not go through anything at all.  
>"What's this place?" She asked when they pulled into the driveway.<br>"It's your house, Cuddy." He said as he stopped the car. He got out first and started to head towards the front door, he wasn't going to tell her to get out of the car she could obviously make that decision herself. It did take her a moment but she got out of the car and followed him, sprinting to catch up before he could unlock the door. Once she got to him he stuck the key in the lock and turned it. He hadn't really been into the house in a month, he just came over, collected the small amount of mail the post office wouldn't hold, and took it back to his place.  
>They walked in together and she looked around. It didn't seem like she was recognizing anything just yet, but it could take some time. "Look around, you own this place, everything in here belongs to you." House said and then plopped down on the couch. Cuddy smiled brightly and started to run her hands over things gently, as if they would vanish if she didn't touch them. Then, as if she knew exactly where she was, she walked over to a shelf and took down a picture book. She opened it and walked over to House, sitting down next to him.<br>"Tell me about the people." She said, pointing to the pictures. She had seemingly chose and album at random but the one she had chose was one filled with pictures from charity events and parties at the hospital. All of her friends would be in it, and none of the pictures would contain her bitch of a mother. He was still mad that she had written off her own daughter in a month when he didn't give up on her and wouldn't have until he was presented with a dead or live body.  
>"Well that's Wilson," He said pointing to a very drunk looking Wilson with his tie askew and a drink in his hand. He had his arm around both Cuddy and himself in that picture and one of his eyes was half closed. He looked about to pass out at any second. She pointed to another picture of Chase and Cameron and he explained to her who they were too. There was a long silent pause and then out of nowhere she took in a gasping breath.<br>"House?" She said, and she actually sounded like the real Cuddy in that moment, and it surprised him. "House, he raped me." She added in a very soft and defeated voice. In that moment he knew that she was back, and he couldn't have been happier no matter how bittersweet the moment was. He gently pulled her into his arms and held her as she started to cry. There really wasn't much else he could do at that point.  
>"I know Cuddy, I was told." He lied, if she was indeed back he didn't need her to know that she had been taped and that he had seen the whole thing. She sniffled and started to sob even harder. It seemed like memories of her time in captivity had started to surface and she wanted to talk about them now.<br>"He, he told me you were dead and made me...made me say I was happy he killed you." She sobbed, "And I was happy, I was...I am so sorry!" He just held her. She was only getting into the first few days of her capture and he wondered what was going to happen when she recalled killing all the women she had killed, or even witnessing the deaths. The good thing was that she was coming back and he was going to do everything he could to nurture her.  
>"It's okay, no one is going to be mad at you. You aren't in trouble, everything will be okay." He soothed. He was never one for therapy or head shrinking but at that point if anyone needed treatment she was the one for that. "We can find someone for you to talk to if..."<br>"No!" She cut him off with a loud screech, "I just want to talk to you, I just want you to know, no one else. Please don't make me talk to someone else!" She was begging him and clinging to him tighter than he ever thought possible. He sort of didn't want to be the one to relive this with her, but he understood why she wanted it to be him and no one else.  
>"Okay, I'll be there and I'll listen to everything. I promise." he said, stroking her hair back soothingly. "What do you want to start with?"<p> 


	7. Break Through

Syndrome

Chapter VII: Break Through

Author's Note: So things might be a little slow in coming up mostly because my keyboard on my regular comp crapped out and I don't know how fast things will be updated because I have someone else doing the updating for me and she's rather busy but BIG THANKS to her! (Don't know if she wants me to use her name to thank her or not but she is reading this LoL) Anyway stick with me and I will continue! This chapter should be quite a bit longer.

They talked for a long while, well Cuddy talked and House listened as he tried not to cringe at every little detail she gave him. Listening was almost worse than watching because she was telling him how she felt as she recounted every activity that Sir made her do. Every once in a while she would just burst into tears and hug him close to her. When that happened he just held her and told her that it would be okay. After about two hours she got emotionally drained and as she cried into his chest she started to fall inane out of sleep.

"Come on, I think you need to lie down." House said and then stood up with her. She didn't fight him, she just sniffled and walked with him to her bedroom. He led her to the bed where she lay down and snuggled up under the covers, grabbing a pillow to hug immediately. "I'll be watching TV if-"

"Stay with me?" She asked softly, her eyes were half open and it was clear she was about to fall asleep at any moment. He was a little surprised that she had asked him that but instead of asking her if she was sure he just got into bed with her. She tossed the pillow aside and clung to him tightly. He was still thinking that maybe she really did need to see a psychiatrist but he wasn't going to push it. At least she wanted to talk and he supposed the first step in all of this was getting her to let it all out. Cuddy was a smart woman, he knew that once she was calm and learning how to cope she would want someone other than him to talk to.

House didn't realize how tired he was too until he was waking up a few hours later alone. He sat up in a panic, there was no telling where she was and what she was doing and he had a sinking feeling that something bad was happening.

"Cuddy?" He called, trying not to sound as panicked as he actually felt. When he didn't get an answer he stayed quiet and listened. There was water running in the bathroom, so she had to be in there. He got up and grabbed his cane, hobbling quickly towards the running water. Without even hesitating he opened the door.

She was in the tub holding a knife and sobbing. What worried him the most was it wasn't at her wrist, it was at her thigh near her femoral artery. Her hands were shaking very badly and she didn't even seem to notice him. She was intent on what she was about to do. House didn't want to make any sudden movements, if she did manage to knick the artery she would bleed out faster than he would be able to help her and the last thing he wanted was to lose her right after he got her back.

"Cuddy?" He said softly. She didn't move so he took a step forward slowly. His goal was to get the knife out of her hand. It was bad, it was like she was in her own little world at that point. Slowly, she raised her hand and brought it down towards her thigh. House threw his cane aside and dove in her direction. Pain in his thigh be damned, he was not going to let her do this to herself. He managed to grab the knife, by the blade, clutching it tightly and wrenching it away from her. She started screaming, as if she just noticed him, and reached for the knife but he held it out of the way.

"LET ME DIE! JUST LET ME DIE!" She screeched as she tried to get the weapon back. House didn't even realize that he was slicing up his hand as bad as he was, and he didn't care. His heart was racing and tears were stinging his eyes. He tossed the knife far across the room, the only blood on it was his. He pulled her into a tight hug, getting himself wet as he did. The bandage on her right hand was falling off because it had gotten wet, but she started to fight him. "NO! NO! NO! NO! I WANT TO DIE!"

"Cuddy...CUDDY!" He shouted, "Please...calm down. You don't want to die, you don't want that!" He tried to reassure her. It was selfish of him to not want her to die because HE couldn't lose her but also he couldn't imagine how it would shatter other people's worlds and the fact that he didn't believe in an afterlife would mean she would blink out never to exist again.

"I killed them! I killed them!" She yelled finally giving in and just hugging him tightly. "He told me to and I did, I didn't even question him!" House knew immediately what she was talking about, but...she had killed more than one? He guessed he should have assumed that. The tapes went on after her first killing, when he decided to stop watching. One was bad enough, he didn't know how many others there were, and he didn't want to know, but he was sure he would find out soon enough.

"Lisa, Lisa look at me." He said, pulling back from her to look in her eyes.

For the first time in days she actually looked at him and she looked like a frightened bunny. "It's not your fault and you don't want to die. I know you don't."

"Yes I do! Why wouldn't I?" She demanded.

"You let yourself survive for 6 months with that bastard, if you didn't want to live you would have let him kill you from the get go, something is keeping you here. Just remember what you have to live for, cling to that...even if it's as stupid as smelling flowers of the smell of a new puppy. There is something you need to live for and that's why you don't want to die." He said to her, still looking her in the eyes. Her lower lip trembled and she fell into him again, holding him as tight as she could though her bandaged hand was now being exposed.

"You." She whispered into his chest. It was so soft that he might not have heard it if she wasn't as close as she was. At first he didn't know what she meant, he actually thought that she was starting a sentence but when she didn't continue he realized that she was saying he was the one that she was living for. After that he didn't know what to say, he was so deeply touched he wanted to cry. "All I could think about was seeing you again. I knew you weren't dead, I just knew you weren't, and I couldn't let go without telling you goodbye."

"Well you don't have to let go, Cuddy. I'm here now and no one is saying goodbye to anyone, alright?" House said, his voice cracking just slightly with emotion. She slowly calmed down and he helped her out of the tub even though his leg was screaming at him not to stand up and stay where he was. He grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around her. That's when he noticed that his hand was bleeding. "Shit."

"You're bleeding." She whispered and grabbed a hand towel, wrapping it around the injury.

"I'll be fine." House said, more concerned about her than himself. "Between the vicodin and the amount I'll be drinking tonight, I won't even notice the cuts." He wiped some of the blood from his hand and examined the wound. They were superficial cuts, nothing that would need stitching, he would probably have to wrap it up though. He gently took her right wrist in his and looked at the bandage that was coming off. Her mutilated fingers were now exposed and he seriously almost vomited seeing them for the first time. He knew how bad they were because of the X-rays but he hadn't actually seen it in the flesh.

"They hurt." She whimpered softly.

"I got you some percocet." He said and reached into his pocket, pulling out the bottle. She smiled at him slightly as he handed it over to her. That's when he realized that she wouldn't be able to get it open and took it back. He walked over to her medicine cabinet and got out a first aid kit. He was going to bandage his hand and hers, then open both the percocet bottle and the vicodin bottle so they could be stoned together.

"I'm going to get dressed." Cuddy said softly and then went into her bedroom.

He didn't know how easy it would be for her to get dressed but she had already been doing it without his help. He quickly cleaned his hand up and bandaged it before coming into the bedroom. She was on the bed in a t-shirt and a pair of panties. He handed her a glass of water and two of the pills from her bottle. She downed them quickly and handed the water back to him so he could take his vicodin. Once he did he joined her on the bed and started to take the now soggy bandage off of her hand.

Her fingers were in such bad shape that they couldn't even be splinted. No wonder she was in so much pain. She looked at them and whimpered slightly. "They are going to have to amputate aren't they?" she whispered to him.

"Not necessarily." He lied, "Once you gain 30 pounds they'll let you into surgery and see what they can do." He said but he was giving her the best case scenario. He knew that by now the fingers were infected and they would have to be taken care of. He just didn't want to deliver bad news to her after she had just tried to kill herself.

"Would you amputate them? Be honest." She said as she watched him start to rebadge her hand.

"Cuddy I'm not a surgeon, I-"

"House." She said sternly. He swallowed hard, she knew that he was trying to stall. The truth was he would have taken her into surgery to amputate them right away rather than leaving her with messed up fingers for a week while she regained her weight. Slowly he nodded and then looked away from her. She took in a deep, shaky breath and let it out slowly. "Thank you for being honest."

He finished wrapping her hand back up. It was her right hand, not her dominant hand and though she would have to relearn to do a few things she wouldn't have to give up writing or other activities her dominant hand would be used for. Once he was done she pulled him into a hug and sighed gently. He knew that the last thing she wanted, but maybe she was thinking that if she wasn't in pain any more it wouldn't be as bad as keeping the fingers. She let go of him and laid down on the bed, curling up into a ball.

"I'm really tired, House. It's the percocet." She said with a yawn, "How do you cope with the vicodin?" She giggled slightly, but knew the answer was that it had been built up in his system and he had been taking it for so long that his body had adapted to all of the side effects. He smiled at her and stood up. He had to call the ducklings to see how they were doing, he was afraid that since they had been silent for a while things had gotten bad.

"I'm going to leave for just a moment. You aren't going to do anything irrational right?" He asked. She shook her head and for whatever reason he believed her. He was pretty sure that she had just had her major break down and major breakthrough and as much as he was still worried about her he was not worried that she was going to kill herself any more. They hadn't exactly exchanged 'I love yous' but they were one step away from it and he knew she wouldn't die until she heard it from him.

He had fallen asleep on the couch and was having painfully erotic dreams about Cuddy when his phone went off and jerked him awake. He groaned loudly and tried to ignore his hard on as he answered the phone before even checking what the number was and who was calling. "House." He muttered not even lifting his head up from the arm of the couch. Things had just settled down but now his world was about to be shaken beyond belief.

"Dr. House, is Dr. Cuddy still with you?" It was Lila's voice and though she sounded very professional there was a hint of fear behind her voice. This caused him to sit up. Why was Lila asking if Cuddy was with him? Was Cuddy in danger? He had been assured that they had Sir in custody. Had something happened? Did he escape? House swallowed hard and realized that he was only nodding his head, not actually answering her question.

"Yes, she's right here." He said and then got up and walked into her bedroom to see her and make sure she was there. Thank God she was, still curled up under the blankets. She appeared to be sleeping peacefully but he didn't know what kind of dreams she was having. He hoped that they were good. "What's wrong Lila?"

"The guy we thought was Sir, has an alibi for everything. We can't find any proof that he's the one that took Dr. Cuddy." Lila said softly. House felt his hand clench around the phone tightly. It was just like the police to fuck something like this up. How had they found Cuddy if they didn't know who Sir was? This wasn't making any sense and he was getting scared and pissed at the same time.

"But you found her, in his house, right?"

"We found her in A house. Turns out it was rented, paid in cash, in advance and the landlord is not Sir." House could almost hear her lip trembling as she said that. "She may be in danger."

"What the fuck Lila? What the ever loving FUCK?" He half shouted half whispered into the phone. He didn't want to wake Cuddy, that was the last thing he needed to do. He would bare the burden of knowing this, but he would not for one second let her know about it. If she asked why Sir was not on trial or why she hadn't testified yet, he would make up some bullshit answer, but there was no way he would let her live in fear. It just looked like he was going to have find Sir himself.

"Dr. House I'm sorry but-"

"I want those DVDs again." House whispered softly as he moved away from Cuddy's bedroom and shut the door. Before Lila could object he said, "You are going to give them to me a second time, or I am going to let your captain know you gave them to me the first time." There was a pregnant pause before there was an actual answer.

"Fine. When do you want me to come over?"


	8. Update

The following is a complete list of stories that have been abandoned, renamed, or will be rebooted and posted under my new name. I am changing pen names, I will not say what name I am using here because I do not want to be followed. However, if you send me a PM or you already know me by E-mail or IM and have not yet been informed of this change, contact me and you will be given the information on where to find my new account, what the stories have been renamed to and all that stuff.

If I happen to have abandoned a story that you absolutely love I am really sorry but it's most likely I have run out of ideas for that story and pretty much wrote myself into a corner.

That being said, if a story is NOT abandoned then you will have to give me some time to get around to it. I have been spending a lot of time Roleplaying and then most of my other free time making fan videos for various fandoms so just be patient, but I promise if the story is not abandoned it will be completed!

House of Taboo: Yeah this will get a sequel, it will be renamed and posted under my new account but it will get a sequel!

Let Them Talk: I am still working on this one, I can assure you of all that I just want to get more than one chapter done at a time to post so I don't keep you all waiting.

Syndrome: Has been abandoned, I had a good idea when I started it, have no idea where I want to take it now. Sorry.

A Handmaid's House: WILL BE COMPLETED! Just give me some time! I will do it! As I think it's one of my best works yet, I do want to finish it! Trust me!

Flare: As this is a completed story it's just going to be renamed but it will be posted on my new account.

Rescued From The Fall: As I am abandoning Blood On The Bracelet just see what I have to say for that one. It is mentioned on this list!

Cat's Cradle: Yeah this one has gone out the window as well. Consider it abandoned!

La Petite Mort: I actually love this story and as I consider it complete (even though it is not marked as such) it will be renamed and posted on my new account.

Blood On The Bracelet: It's far too recognizable as something I wrote even if I do rename it. However this current account will be left up for 2 weeks, so if you want to copy it, paste it, and save it to your own computer I am giving you permission. You can repost but PLEASE credit me.

Stand In The Rain: Totally abandoned and well if for some reason you were STILL hoping for more...sorry.

Risky Business: Abandoned. Although I am writing a very kinky PWP House/Cuddy/Wilson story which is on a more adult oriented site as of now, so if you would like to be linked or directed to that story let me know as it is comparable to Risky Business.

World's Apart: Will be rebooted completely so there is WAY less focus on Cameron and Thirteen and WAY MORE on Huddy. Since I was rebooting it anyway it is going to get get a new name but will be found under my new account.

Destroyed and Condemned: Abandoned, don't really know what I was thinking with this one LoL!

Intoxicated: Pressured into writing this one by the ex (Rachel) I don't even want to ever reread it again let alone continue it, so it's abandoned!

Happy Birthday Thirteen: Once again, fuck you Rachel for goading me into writing this Cadley shit! Abandoned!

Strange Bedfellows: Look at what I said for Happy Birthday Thirteen. Abandoned!

Price: As this is a one shot and got no reviews anyway I am taking it down and pretending I never wrote it.

Our Solemn Hour: This one is most likely going to get a severe reboot, yet I cannot promise that. However, without Rachel breathing down my back to demand every detail go her way this time, chances are it will get a reboot. This version is being removed however. If you want to keep it fine, if you want to repost it do so but credit me!

Call Girl Faux Pa: This is a one shot, complete, and I really REALLY like it so it will be renamed and put up under my new account.

Cafe Ala House: See what I said for Happy Birthday Thirteen and Strange Bedfellows. Abandoned.

Immortality: Started back when I thought Thuddy was a good pairing, I do not think so any longer. Abandoned.

October: Obviously abandoned and for good reason.

All of my SVU stories haven't been touched in YEARS so I won't even bother to explain the fact that ALL of them are being removed and abandoned! Sorry...we had a good run. That's all I can really say. Although I might whip me up a nice House/SVU crossover in the future!

No one actually cares about my Boston Public stories so I am not going to post them anywhere ever again but I will keep them for my own pleasure.

Also: For Our Solemn Hour and Blood On The Bracelet IF you do repost in any form credit WAXANGELWINGS and NOT my new account name if you receive it. Like I said I don't want to be followed but as those stories will not be posted on my new account or be renamed I don't see the point in you crediting my new name anyway.

Thank you for your patience, sorry for this abrupt change of pace but I needed to do it! WaxAngelWings has been mine for about 6 years and I just want to move on. Thank you for sticking with me all this time and I hope you can move to my new name and look forward to all the plans I have for future fan fiction!

~Monic


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